Tag Archive: Jokes

Teachers: The Good and The Bad

Teachers: The Good and The Bad

Most teachers are incredible people who go out of their way to help children grow into the people they eventually will become. Of course, not all teachers are good. In fact, some are so bad that when I sit through their different classes each day throughout various years, I constantly feel the urge to bang my head against things like my desk…or a wall.
However, instead of going on a long-winded rant about teachers I’ve loved and teachers I’ve hated and why, I’m going to write about far more exciting things. As most of us have heard thousands of times, teachers are people too. Therefore, they have odd quirks just like everyone else. Personally, I love to find those quirks and laugh at my memories of them. So, here are five of the most amusing quirks I’ve seen in my teachers so far:
1) One of my former math teachers hated just about all of his classes except for mine. Pretty much everyday when our class started, he would go to the bathroom while we were doing bell work. In fact he went so often, that we started keeping track. Trust me when I say that by the end of the year, that number was probably high. He also told us that he called the cops on his neighbors for playing music too loudly; ate weird trail mix that looked disgusting; and kept an air freshener in his room because it smelled really weird.
2) Another one of my former teachers kept pet cockroaches (until they were traumatically killed after one of my friends knocked their cage onto the floor). These cockroaches weren’t your average sized roaches. Not even close. They were probably as large as most of my pointer finger, and they were the most distracting, horrifying things I’ve had to deal with in class. I vividly remember sitting near them for a time while I was taking the class, and they would crawl over each other and make hissing noises all the time. It was all I could do to stop watching their disturbing antics, and pay attention to the important information being discussed in the front of the room.
3) My math teacher this year has a little stuffed dinosaur in her room, and everyday we come in, it’s in a different place. Some of my friends and I have made it a game to find where the dinosaur is, and it makes the beginning of class more enjoyable. Who doesn’t like playing games? She also found some of the most entertaining math jokes in the world and posted them on a bulletin board near our graded papers–they’re probably there to boost morale before we see those papers.
4) Another teacher I have this year is slightly obsessed with a personality test. We all had to take it at the beginning of the year, and I’ve been told the results come up for the rest of the year. So far, that has proven to be true…
5) My history teacher wins the award for greatest quirk influence. He has an affinity for using the word “norms”, and now that he’s our principle, that word is spreading like a disease. Students and teachers alike keep accidentally using it, and it’s going to be nearly impossible to get everyone to stop.
There you have it, teachers are [weird] people too!
End of book quote: “They went to sleep.” —The Secret of NIMH by Robert C. O’Brien


Calvin And Hobbes

Calvin And Hobbes

A quick post for today because I’m feeling a bit under the weather: I’ve always loved reading Calvin and Hobbes, comics written by Bill Watterson. I love the satire, the irony, and most of all, the extremely lovable characters. After all, who wouldn’t want to try to explain things to Calvin or try to trick Hobbes or be insulted repeatedly by Susie at school? Watterson does a fantastic job of making his fictional characters come to life, and reminds us all of those times when we acted terribly at age six.
End of book quote: “When I take you on board the Witch, it’s going to be for keeps.” —The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George¬†Speare

The Hungry Lion

I found this joke a while ago and thought it was a keeper. For all you readers and writers out there, I think you will appreciate this as much as I did.

The Hungry Lion

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book. The other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

As you can tell from the typewriter reference, the joke is a little old, but I am still a fan.

End of book quote: “I take his hand, holding on tightly, preparing¬†for the cameras, and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go.” —The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins