People fear teenagers for a reason. This fear tends to be sprung from the odd sort of things teenagers do when they are around their friends. In my experience, most of those things are rather harmless. For example, you could steal someone’s phone and text one of their friends something random like “May I please have your mustache?” or you could convince a large group of people to stare at newcomers if they arrive later, or, when one of your friends is late to a party you are at, you could get together with all of your mutual friends who were on time and leave that person around twenty voicemails.

The last option is something I have now personally experienced. I went to my coach’s goodbye party this afternoon with my brother. The party was from one to four p.m. but as it was an open house, people arrived all throughout that time period. One of my friends, a super awesome girl named Sarah, had to work, so she couldn’t make it until 3:30. Another friend, Grace, got tired of waiting for her and sent a text to Sarah ordering her to “come to the party NOW!”. Then two people we were standing near at the time whipped out their phones and sent very similar texts to Sarah as well. The obnoxious voice mails that followed were really only to be expected.

Sarah texted one of the guys back and didn’t respond to Grace, so Grace texted her again and then called her. Needless to say, Sarah was already pretty annoyed with Grace, and texted Grace to “leave me alone!”. Grace and I headed inside to where more of our friends were, and convinced them to text and call Sarah too (surprisingly, they weren’t hard to convince). Eventually, she turned off her phone, and we saw an opportunity to be even more vexing.

We all began to call her and leave her the strangest messages we could think of. When Sarah arrived (bemused but aggravated), we all listened to the messages together, bringing our voicemail trolling time to a hilarious end (trust me, I have creative, comedic friends and some of them thought of really enjoyable things to say).

Last line book quote: “Details are 94% accurate, 6% unavoidable extrapolation.” —Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer